Vanessa has promised me for the last three years various things. Vanessa has failed to follow through with anything. Which is a big deal for me. Because I want to fully trust her, but it seems as if the only logical thing for me to do right now is go half-assed in this.
She is 'supposed' to come visit me for thanksgiving. As each passing day draws near, provides more and more doubt that this, like every year, will be the same. She pumps me up. I'm happy. The day comes. She doesn't show up. I'm upset. I yell and spazz out. She cries. I apologize. She promises me some other time. I soften up. We make up and carry on like nothing ever happened.
Wouldn't we save the disappointment if she DIDN'T come?
If she doesn't show up this time, I'm done.
Is it too early to line my little duckies in a row??
3:54 p.m. - 2009-11-01
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