And there she is.....
She's always been that girl. She's always been the girl of your dreams. She's always been the same girl that you've known since the first grade. She's always been that girl that has managed to always have your heart in the bottoms of her pockets. But over the years, she has managed to slip past you like the "F" in fuck, rolling off of your tounge and creeping from the cracks from your lips. You don't quite know why its there, or why it sounds so wonderful, but just like her...there she is. Where she always has been. You know the distinct sound of her voice, her house phone, her cell phone, and you can remember her grandmoms house number faster than you can recall your own number.
She�s beautiful, but beautiful isn�t the half of it. More like you are stopped in your tracks everytime you see her because she is simply the most beautiful and perfect thing you�ve ever seen. Everytime you see her, you notice another piece of perfection. More like you can�t stop writing third grade run-on sentences to remotely describe how something�.or someone�makes you feel. This feeling is the most amazing thing you have ever experienced. But its scary in more ways than you care to admit. More like you feel like if you stare at her for too long (which you do) that pieces of her beauty will wither away. More like if you stare for too long, your face may stay that way. In which you would mind it. She�s beautiful and it just seems so perfect.
You love being the first one in the morning to say �Hello.� It makes you smile. Knowing that day was purposely made for that moment. To see her. To hear her. To be that close. Nevermind the fact that she kept you up into the early hours of the morning listening to you breathe on the phone. Nevermind the fact that you are probably going to be late for work. Which at that point would be in a couple of hours, but you know she is here. Where you are. And that�s all that matters. You actually love complaining about her keeping you up in the morning. You love arguing about who said what to prolong the conversation. About who said �I love you� how many times. About who loves who more.
To you, everything matters.
To a point where you remember everything she ever said to you. Verbatim. Even the pauses and spaces. And exactly how many characters. Squared. You have it jogged into memory. Its funny. You cant remember your own sisters birthday. Or appointments you promised to keep. Or that song you just listened to. Or what you had for breakfast that day. But you can remember everything about her. But you remember how she got that scar on her back because when you kissed her, she turned the wrong way. Into a table top. So its your little secret. Because you were sneaking around and you weren�t supposed to be there. Thinking about it makes you chuckle�.the kissing scar. And loves it. She loves to hear the story of how she got it. Because she knows you are the only one who listens. And when would your attention ever be on anything else when she speaks? Never. But only if you are there holding her perfect body in the warm grasp of your hands and you are there to react the kissing scar joke. Because time stops when she is in your arms and everything slows down. And all you hear is her amazing voice in between her heartbeat.
You like making sarcastic , corny jokes. Those are her favorite. And the smile that she gives you make you feel like that smile is only meant for you. And that no one else can have such a smile. You smile and say �I love you� and you kiss her on the lips. Because you do. Its in your smile. Your look. Your facial expressions. Your voice. You even smell of love. You both do. And there isn�t anything in the entire world you wouldn�t do for her. Just for her to smile. Or laugh. Or just say one word. You�d climb to the tallest building (which you are afraid of heights) and yell on a megaphone that you love this person to death. And that you will never love someone else the way you love her. Should you tell her that when her voice is on the other end on the phone that you cry silent tears because you aren�t there to hear her words in person. Maybe she already knows this. Maybe she just like hearing those words. Maybe she is just seeing if you are going to tell her.
Maybe all it takes is know�
And knowing is half the battle.
5:36 p.m. - 2009-12-04
Recent entries:
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