I once said (and I quote), "The world isn't ready for me to have a kid yet. The day that I do, hell will finally freeze over. I just don't think that I have the patience."
I was at five different functions between yesterday and this afternoon where kids and babies were around. And in all honesty, I love kids. I want kids. I wouldn't mind having children now, but lack of high paying job and woman I can see myself with for a long period of time is missing. Which when considering having a child is definitely a HUGE thing.
This isn't one of those stories on where having a child would make me complete or having lack of certain childhood would somehow justify this certain feeling. I just understand the beauty of children. Babies. How a woman could bring life to something so beautiful and heart warming.
I smile everytime I see children. Especially infants. I sometimes daze off wondering how my children would look. Wondering if he or she would have my nose. Or my chin. Or maybe my straight but curly hair. How my life would change for the better. I'd probably stop smoking and cursing as much. Would probably be more parent-concious about leaving hazmat and dangerous materal around.
I think I'm ready for that kind of commitment but that time will come soon.
5:35 p.m. - 2010-02-21
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