I'm sitting at home on a friday night again. Doing nothing particularly special. The lights are off, the tv is unplugged. I have three missed calls, five unread text messages and an unfinished email to Sara.
This panoramic portrait seems to be my safe haven when things seem to be out of place. Me snuggled tightly on the abstract couch, wrapped in my blankie. The smell of peppermint tea filling this empty house. Slices of cold pizza left in the pizza box. Half a dozen art books lying on the floor around my feet. A massive collage of pens and pencils and paper with "art" that I've drawn everywhere; some are around the base of the trash bin [I've got terrible aim]. My ipod playlist set to Explosions In The Sky...
Its so quiet here. Its as if this house was abandoned by all who once loved it, and pathetically, I'm just a temporary fling. A sad excuse as a lover; a shamed story filled with tequila and sad memories. But for now, its a perfect match. At what cost? At what cost...
I could use company. Not like any company, but a non-sexual cuddle buddy. Someone more or less for emotional and moral support. Kristen is in Virginia. Shannon is out drinking her liver away. Melissa is in Kentucky. Sara is in Haiti.
I wonder if she knows. I wonder if it all will ever matter.
Its a rainy saturday morning and there is a bottle of coconut rum with my name written ALL over it.
1:01 a.m. - 2010-03-13
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