Today, we had a major break through. In the middle of our daily open conversation couseling session, Jamaal started talking to us about his own life. Willingly. Talking to us about was he was like before the drug addiction and the alcohol abuse. He came from a middle classed family. He was a straight A dean's list student, majoring to be an architect.
He had dreams of building something so beautiful, so meaningful. He told us how his dreams of being an architect was the beginning off the destruction that would take place; how ironic? His fiance' one day up and leaves him in the middle of the night without telling him. No note. No trace. No nothing. (While explaining this to me, he has a blank, stoic face. I reach for his hands to assure his safety and rub them sincerely. He acknowledges the gesture and smiles). He continues to share that once his fiance' left, his grades fell. He didn't care for school anymore. He stopped going to class, instead going to bars to cover up the pain he was feeling. The college kicked him out for poor grades and performance and the pizza delivery job he had let him go. When his parents found out about his school dismissal and alcohol problem, the cut off his monthly funding and disowned him. He lost his apartment and comfortable lifestyle because his newly found addiction prevented him from keeping a job.
He resorted to staying with friends. Some of which were alcoholics themselves, but experimented with drugs. Surrounded by peer pressure, Jamaal fell victim to marajuana first. Then crack. Then cocaine. Then heroine. In the name of finding a better high, we would often mix hard drugs, alcohol and perscribed medication (whether perscribed for him or not) together, often blacking out and overdosing. He further explained thats how he ended up here and that it wasn't the best decision he has made in his life. I agree.
When I asked about Krissy and who she was to him, he went to speak, then stopped as if he just bit his lip really hard. He suddenly broke down and cried for fifteen minutes and afterwards, asked for a hug. And a cigarette. I think it's obvious who Krissy is now. The one he loved. The one who abandoned him.
Health wise, he is getting better. He isn't purging as much now that we have adjusted his medication dosage to accomidate his frequent nicotine intake. Since he has been showing great behaviour, we have moved him into a more relaxing setting, allowing him to interact with the other patients with similiar problems; one of the first steps to prepare him to step back out into the real world. He isn't at the level where he is granted visitation privilages yet, but i'm sure he will be there very soon. His floor supervisiors all speak very highly of him, saying he doesn't give them a hard time and that he's very charming.
I believe he is too. Maybe he is just misunderstood.
12:27 a.m. - 2010-07-14
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