...but baby, even when i tell you things will be okay when they clearly aren't, believe me. believe me.
It is 112:29 PM Saturday morning of the new and exciting year of 2011. I was supposed to be at work, working at 11:30 AM. I woke up to dogs barking, Ninja McFufukins meowing at my door and Megan recapping her conversation with John the night before. I looked at the clock. It was 11:49. So I got up, made coffee, warmed up breakfast, thought of Vanessa and got one of our morning newspapers out of the flyer cluttered mailbox. It is cold outside ofcourse, but it's not snowing.
I got three missed calls, that I counted, from my manager. I could have very well rushed out the door, been an hour late and kissed his ass for my job, but I knew I was already skating on thin ice. I knew I'd be fired anyway just as much if I didn't show up and I have too much pride to beg for a job that I could give two shits less about. Plus, cursing out the owner the night before definitely wouldn't help my case either.
I am still waking up, kinda sorta. I'm listening to Senses Fail's new album (The Fire), reliving old high school memories. I decided to take the rest of this weekend to stay inside my self. inside my thoughts. to really listen to my heart and what i'm feeling. i havent really had full lengthy conversations with myself for quite some time now...and i'm not gonna lie, i miss it.
Last night, i brought in the new year talking to Vanessa on the phone. Telling her how much i missed her and loved her. I got off the phone pretty early cause i was that tired.
This morning, I'm kicking myself in the ass for not staying up on the phone and talking to her like we normally do.
"Its amazing how one small ball of lint can turn into a giant cluster fuck." - Dane Cook
12:24 p.m. - 2011-01-01
Recent entries:
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