After I got off from work earlier, amongst many things, I drove Jennifers car back to my house, grabbed my stuff, threw it in the back seat, fed and kissed ninja all of two minutes, locked up and split. It seems as if the house that was once filled with happy moments is now a memory of an eyesore. An abandoned cherished thing torn between two people who loved it. The product of a friendship gone sour.
From the house, I went to my coachs house (who also happens to be my dean) to sign my lacrosse scholarship paperwork and talked to some of the guys down at Inside Lacrosse. They was me to do a cover story for them about urban lacrosse and the growth of young talent. I'll be I'm the cover of the monthly lacrosse bible.
..how fucking sweet is that?!?!
From there, I went back to zellas and dropped off the car, playing wall ball on the side of the building. I called Vanessa and expected to tell her the good news hut I got her voicemail. She called back, but I didn't feel my phone go off. Later, she im'ed me and I told her that I accepted the scholarship. It bothered me all week, but I decided to be selfish and put my education first.
We talked about it and argued and it came to a point where I thought our relationship was going to end. She's happy for me, and wants me to go to college and play lacrosse. I want to go to college, but I want to stay with her. And unfortunately, I can't really do both. I feel like she's sending me mixed signals and originally was mad and upset. That she knew my plans for us and she wanted to push me further away. I gave her an ultimatum that was simple: either I go to college and we put our relationship on the back burner or I skip college and be with her.
...she's hasn't given me a response yet, and by not giving an answer, she's kinda leaving me to assume.
12:37 a.m. - 2011-03-29
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