I always say that my recent ex (Gina) got the very best of me. And I loved her harder than anyone. I made every effort to do things way differently than my other ex's and still got fucked over. But before the relationship ended, she gifted me a solar system bracelet (because I'm a massive space geek) that I still wear to this day. I've since then re-purposed the significance and meaning behind the gift.

In present day, I just had someone cancel a date with me because I do not currently own a vehicle even though I'm in the market for one and will have one within the next two weeks. She mentioned that having a car was a part of her dating checklist. All this without even knowing me OR the circumstance as to how/why I lost my car. And usually that would crush me and trigger a depression spell but something changed within me. Something quite powerful and moving.

I realized that I didn't need anyone who wasn't willing to understand that sometimes, things happen that are out of your control. Loosing my car sucked major ass but it hasn't stopped me from maintaining my hustle spirit. I've kept several jobs and have accomplished just as much without it, barring it's been more difficult. I was more than willing to take a bus/uber/walk to wherever the date would be just to invest time in getting to know her. But if someone wants to measure their idea of a man based on material things and ignore my fighting spirit and drive altogether, then I really don't and shouldn't deem them worthy to take up MY space and energy. I politely told her as much and deleted her information from my phone without a second thought. And in that moment, I happen to glance at my planetary bracelet and realized that I have power.

That although this bracelet revolves around my wrist, that I AM the fucking universe. And apparently, not everyone is a goddamn astronaut..

2:41 a.m. - 2019-05-27